what do you think I'd see? if I could walk away from me?

I understand so much of it now. My incessant frustrations and bewilderment. 

It's interesting how that happens when you start to truly break free, when you start to truly feel, when you start to truly be stretched. 

and that brings it all back to this place ~

don't think about all those things you feel, just be glad to feel......

just don't be scared when that feeling truly starts to break, begins to mold you, begins to grow you. 

i am glad that i can now feel. its all young Lauren wanted - to escape the mundane and the trivial 

even if its left me gasping for breath 

it's hilarious how these words have turned on me ~

how i would kill to make you feel, i'd kill to move your face an inch, i see you staring into space......

does the future hold a regained sense of balance? 

do i deserve that now after the chaos I've opened myself up to?

part of me doubts it, but part of me isn't sure i want it.

there's still more chaos to be found before peace can truly ring true