Ache

My heart kind of hurts.

For pathetic reasons, seemingly.

Why do other people's actions and words, or lack thereof, have such an ability to sting?
It is impossible for man to live free of the even the slightest feeling of dejection that is bound to come with human interaction, I suppose.  "Not caring" can really on take you so far. Denying all exposure of emotional reaction will inevitably lead to an unhealthy fester.

Why did something as trivial as denial over social media get to me? If sounds pathetic to verbalize, but it honestly just made me feel unworthy - completely irrelevant to one's life, even only if it was formerly.  Just block me out so your feelings don't exist because I never did. Seems healthy and mature.  I guess it just reminds me of the same unnecessary and annoying gesture of the past.  2 blatant ignorance (either meaning of the word) and so many more left unsaid. What does humanity mean to these people? What does human companionship equal in their eyes? I wonder that at times. The inability to be a true caring friend to someone must say something about one's selfish inward mind that hunkers down on the tiniest of nuances and raises oneself above the fold.
How hard can it be to respond and relate to another human being, given similar advantages or disadvantages, who's looking for the same thing?  Lighten up! Your mind and worth are not so superior that you can't take the simple action of relation.  I've had more than enough experience with this arrogance and naivety for a lifetime.  Doesn't mean it can't make me feel like crap.

My mind is always focused on the future. Post college musings. Anxiety over potentials, frustration over my inabilities.  My inability not to care at some level.

I feel empty; void of real conversations. Real soul talk. I have so much to say and learn with no one who would even slightly care to listen.  Anyone who would is out of reach... Either they wouldn't care enough to or they live far away.  And I've lost the only person worth intense discussions long ago.  Back when I was too immature to separate things that I should have known how to keep separate. But how would I have known? There was never a place to learn. I can only dream and dream that there is something even slightly as close.