Recently, I spent the weekend in Bakersfield with two of my roommates. Caitlin grew up there, so we stayed at her house and she showed us around town. One night after dining at the Crystal Palace, we stopped for ice cream and went to one of Caitlin's favorite parks. She told us her memories of the park; how she trained for a marathon there with her best friend after school, how he helped her to forget her fears by jumping off bridges and monkey bars, how they had bonfires underneath the freeway overpass, how they trolled strangers and messed around playing games, how they existed together every day.
It reminded me of the days before college, when we spent time running around enjoying the innocence and purity of living. Whether it was exploring caves, spray-painting under bridges, sneaking into hotel jacuzzis, having bonfires by the cliffs, climbing onto roofs, or laying under the stars. We would run around the neighborhood looking for empty houses to explore or random strangers to join. Our most pathetic adventures that ended with us settling for a movie and ice cream or quite the opposite, almost getting arrested, have become some of the most humorous moments to look back on. Existing and risking together, it brought us closer and gave color to our cheeks. There was a lust for the simplicity of youth, yet I didn't realize it until life became so complex. Now, I look back on that time with a longing. Don't get me wrong, I love to see my future unfold before me in my pursuit of education. I have started to see personal growth in ways that I would have never experienced had I stayed home and not gone to school. I am excited to see where it all takes me; I honestly just want to do everything. But I do dearly miss the ease and fun of life as a restless and unruly adolescent.
Some argue that you aren't fully living until you obtain the monetary means to go wherever and do whatever you want. I had friends who wanted to live every single moment to the fullest, making sure there wasn't a single dull moment but rather always doing large-scale activities. This doesn't sound like a dangerous ideal, but it too often sets you up for disappointment when grand plans don't play out as expected. Although I had a share of those great experiences, I have always sought out happiness in the smaller moments in life, because those ultimately are the most joyous memories. I believe there can be damage that comes from merely pursuing
fun at every turn instead of understanding the lasting impact of creating true
joy in every circumstance. Joy through community, creativity, or intimate moments. These are the truly timeless occasions that will always bring comfort.
